I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
