the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize