Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
