Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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