I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.