marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
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almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.