oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
