I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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