Its about making memories worth repressing
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
