Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize