Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
