Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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