i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize