If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
