I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
