Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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