really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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