So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Bring me that man meat
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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