Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
