Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
