we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
