Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
