I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
