What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize