she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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