Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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