let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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