Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We got so high we made milksteak
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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