so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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