I hate your face
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
