I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize