I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
