Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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