the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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