Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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