I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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