know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's blow job season.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my poor anus
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize