I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
