I'm eating all of the evidence.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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