sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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