Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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