He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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