So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
