The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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