she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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