Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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