sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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