i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
