I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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