I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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