Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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