i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
