I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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