Whatcha textin bout Willis?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
