I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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