Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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