this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
