I just saw a hot homeless man
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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