Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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