Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
