If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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