Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
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I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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