Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
