i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
